Friday, May 14, 2010

End of an Era

Hello Dearest Readers -

Boegle Blog Bloggery is coming to an end.

Something about turning 40 - I'm not feeling like a pup anymore. And I'm over the spelling pun. Oh Thank Jesus, Finally!

You will hear from me eventually. Quietly. Individually.

The why is simple: I am deeply reconsidering my virtual presence. Much like I currently feel about my place in the universe, I feel about my place in the Internet. I do not want every moment to be recorded, remembered, saved for posterity. I have a strong urge to be very specific, much more private, to clean my digital slate, and start again on a blank white screen, and my identity kept as private as possible.

I used to think Joni Mitchell was a sell out. Now I realize she just got some self-preservation after "Blue" and got on with the business of living life on her own terms instead of giving everything inside away to virtually EVERYBODY. In the end, she's living her whole life on her own terms. I've mostly been lucky that way, calling my own shots. Turning 40 only made that sense deeper. I see my habit of giving away so much I don't have enough left for me at the end of the day. Though this blog is hardly fully representative of that trend, there are elements of it in here. It feels gross. It's time to break the habit.

Facebook changed everything for me. Tyler and I talk about the shift it made in the global culture - a palpable, physical shift in our brains, in our friendships, in the world. For me, it's too many eyes in one place.

In my twenties, I was so into it. A monkey into everything. I wanted everything and everyone exposed, myself most of all. I was intensely curious, maddened by closed doors.

Now that I finally have a hard earned, beautiful solid door of my own to close, it's the most delicious feeling to put my hand on that cool curved brass handle and hear the firm click of the latch.

I'm not locking it, just so you know. I'm just in my house thinking. Feel free to pop your head in anytime.

I love reading your blog, your email, your Facebook entries. I miss you in real life, though. I mean *really miss you.*

I'll talk to you soon.

Thank you so much for reading.

All the love...Phoebe


Dan said...

Hi Phoebe,

Is there any way I might be able to access your post/comment section regarding Tony Idarola? I would visit that posting sometimes to see if anyone else came across it when they googled Tony's name.

I thought it was cool that over the years a couple people have posted their memories of Tony in the comments section of that entry. Recently, one of my CSUH friends contacted me to say hi and I wanted to send him a link to that section of your blog.

Anonymous said...

Come back. We miss you.